


your lips, my lips; apocalypse

by zapfinoo



Series: tdc fix-it fics [3]
Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Boys In Love, First Kiss, Fix-It of Sorts, Friends to Lovers, Hopeful Ending, Jealous Newt, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Thomas, Pre-Canon, Slow Burn, a lot can happen in six months yall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-03-21 08:58:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13737486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zapfinoo/pseuds/zapfinoo
Summary: Would they even be friends if they lived in a world without solar flares and infection? Or are they just friends now because they were forced to be, because they were put in the same experiment? Thomas likes the idea of them being together in another universe, a universe where the world isn’t ending. Maybe he tells him there.orwhat happened in the six months we didn't see





	1. one;

**Author's Note:**

> dedicating this to georgia, hol and diana. my girls, i love u so much. thanks for appreciating my writing, and thanks for being my friends. wow see what i did there. anyways, i hope this isn’t too awful. i also hope it makes sense, cuz wes made that pretty hard for me. oh well <333 also georgia came up with this idea and a lot of the dialouge, so give her all the credit ok bye i really hope this is decent

 

_Day 21_

Minho is gone.

He can’t believe he’s gone.

It’s been three weeks already, but Thomas still hasn’t wrapped his head around the fact that they took him. He wanted to go after him the morning right after it happened, because who knows what the people at WCKD are doing to him right now? But Newt had talked Thomas out of it and made him realize that they don’t actually know where their friend is being held yet.

So that’s what they’re trying to figure out now. They have spent the last two weeks rebuilding the camp at another location that they found near the ocean, and it’s actually starting to look like something. The main reason why they decided to settle down where they have is that they found a huge boat here that might work after some reconstruction. They already have a few guys working on it, and they told Thomas that they’ll be able to use it soon. Thomas has no idea what the Safe Haven is like, but hopefully WCKD will never find them there.

There’s still some debris lying around the camp that reminds him of what happened, but the worst thing about it is the absence of the approximately fifty kids WCKD took that day. It’s so silent here nowadays, and it reminds Thomas every second that they’ve got his friends somewhere, holding them captive and probably draining them of their blood. He has to rescue them, and he has to do it _soon_.

 Thomas is currently sitting in the biggest tent in the camp, trying to come up with a plan with the help of Jorge, Vince, and Brenda. Brenda looks good and healthy like nothing ever happened, but Thomas is still worried about her. The only way he can see that she’s still sick is in the way she keeps rubbing her leg. He tries to not think about what will happen if they run out of serum, somehow.

“Do you have any ideas at all, kid?” Vince asks, directing the question at him. He has dark bags under his eyes, and he hasn’t been talking much lately. Thomas doesn’t blame him, though―Vince just lost Mary, and he knows that she meant a lot to him.

Thomas might have _one_ idea, but that’s it. “Yeah, Harriet told me about the train tracks not far from here,” he says, and something flickers in Vince’s eyes. _Bingo._ “Maybe we could use them somehow.”

Vince doesn’t answer, so Jorge takes over. “WCKD uses the tracks for transport, you’re right. But I have no idea where they go or how regularly.” He says, and he sounds like he’s given up on life already. But they can’t give up, they have barely even started yet.

“So let’s observe them,” a new voice says from behind the group. Thomas turns around and feels the corners of his mouth twitch upwards when he sees Newt standing there. “Let’s figure out their schedule.”

Newt has been distant lately, they’ve all been. It’s understandable, they just lost their best friend―and Newt has known Minho for much longer than Thomas has. But now when he sees Newt after so long, he realizes that he has missed him a lot these last few weeks, even though they’ve always been within ten meters of each other.

Thomas looks at Jorge and Vince again as if he needs their approval. He doesn’t, but it would be nice to at least have their support.

“You two go ahead and do that,” Vince mutters and it sounds like he doesn’t care about anything anymore. “We have stuff to do around here.”

Brenda stands up from her chair. “I’m coming with you,” she announces and already has her jacket on when Jorge stops her.

“Not a chance. I need you in my sight at all times,” he says, and Thomas can definitely understand why. Brenda needs to be close to the camp and the serum in case she cranks out again.

“I’m _fine_!” she protests, and Jorge doesn’t say anything back, they just stare at each other like they are having some sort of unspoken competition. Eventually Brenda sighs and storms off. She probably knows that she’s not fine, but doesn’t want to admit it to herself. Thomas can imagine that that’s the case. She’s very stubborn, after all.

 

“So, do you really wanna do this?” Thomas asks Newt when they’re sitting close by the tracks, doing nothing but waiting for something to happen.

“We’re only looking at trains, Tommy,” he says, and Thomas almost smiles at that. Almost.

“You know what I mean. You told me that you don’t think there’s any way we can get him back.” Thomas’ heart broke when Newt had told him that, because there’s no way he can do this without him.

Newt hums, looking out at the empty wasteland in front of them. “I also used to believe we’d never find a way out of the Maze, but you managed to change my thoughts on that.”

Thomas can’t stop himself from smiling this time.

 

_Day 39_

They get up early every morning to go trainspotting, and they discover that the trains pass by very rarely. But they still have to figure out their exact pattern, so they keep coming to the tracks every day. This means spending more time with Newt, so Thomas is not complaining.

“Alright, that’s it,” Newt says one day when they’re watching the trains again and Thomas’ thoughts are like a tornado in his mind. “We need a break,” he announces, like he knows what Thomas is thinking about, somehow. It has always felt like that, like they’ve known each other for _years_. Which they might have, they have no idea, after all. Sometimes he gets a strong, sudden urge to reach out and touch him, maybe to comfort him or be comforted himself. He has no idea why this happens, but two words always pop up in his mind when it does. _Muscle memory_.

 They end up going back to camp to get some food, just the two of them. It’s nice, and it definitely helps―Thomas feels better. It’s never really been like this, they haven’t actually sat down and just talked about anything other than the end of the world before, and it’s certainly a nice change of topic. Their conversations have almost always been rushed and stressful because of what’s happened around them, but now they’re just living in the moment, talking about everything and nothing. Newt makes him forget about everything bad that’s going on in the world—WCKD, what Teresa did to them, what Minho’s probably going through right now. He makes him feel like the world is okay again.

Thomas realizes that they don’t really know that much about one another, even if it feels like they do. It does for _him,_  anyway. And he wants to know more about Newt―he really, really does.

 

_Day 59_

They are slowly but surely creating a plan. They have figured out when and how often the trains pass by the camp by now―every Sunday at ten thirty AM sharp. It’s not much, but it’s _something_. Their only problem now is that they’re stuck. Thomas has one idea left, but it’s a long shot, and he has no idea if it’ll actually work. He decides to tell the others about it anyway. “Okay, so we hijack one of the trains, and then―”

Jorge interrupts him mid-sentence. “And how are we going to do that, _hermano_?”

“We’ll figure that out later, okay, just hear me out―”

It’s Harriet’s turn to chip in now, apparently. “Thomas, even if we did that, the trains on that track are going east. WCKD’s headquarters are _west_ of here.” Her tone is warm and soothing like always, but it doesn’t help this time. Thomas takes a deep breath, hoping that it’ll prevent himself from lashing out. “I know that, that’s why we’re gonna turn the train around.” He knows that his plan probably is close to impossible, but he’s desperate. He doesn’t have anything else. “Could you do that, Jorge?”

“Maybe,” he says, and that’s good enough for Thomas. “But that’s the point―we don’t know. I don’t know if I can do it, we don’t know where they are. They might have moved by now.”

Thomas curses under his breath and looks down at his clenched fists. He’s been more stressed out than usual lately since he has no idea what they’re going to do next. They figured out the trains’ schedule, but that’s about all they’ve accomplished. It’s not enough.

“I want to save them as much as you do, but...” Jorge continues, but trails off. Thomas believes him, he’s a good-hearted person, but he can’t just give up like this.

“I think we should be focusing on the boat and getting these kids to the Safe Haven,” Vince says, and _that’s it._ Why can’t they do both?

Thomas doesn’t notice that his hands are shaking until Newt takes them and holds them in his own. He’s been silently standing a few feet away during the conversation, Thomas almost forgot he was in the room.

“Hey, calm down,” he whispers so that only Thomas can hear him. “We’ll figure somethin’ out, alright?”

Thomas can feel himself calm down instantly, his hands stop trembling as he un-clenches his fists. He wonders why Newt’s words always seem to have this effect on him.

They are still holding hands, and it feels strangely intimate for some reason. “Okay,” Thomas answers and feels so relieved, because Newt _believes_ in him. Even though he’s done a lot of stupid things, even though he comes up with dumb plans that probably would be impossible to fulfill. Newt is still here―supporting Thomas without any doubts whatsoever―and that means the world to him.

 

_Day 62_

Three more days of brainstorming pass, but it leads them nowhere.

Thomas usually has trouble sleeping at night, but it’s even worse today. He can’t seem to calm his thoughts—he lies awake and wonders what WCKD is doing to his friends right now, what they are gonna do to save them, and why Teresa did what she did. He’s been thinking about that last one a lot lately. He really thought they shared something special―it was obvious the second she came up in the box and said Thomas’ name in her sleep that they had some sort of connection between them, so why did she betray him? He also wonders why Teresa even escaped with them if she didn’t actually want to, she could’ve just stayed with WCKD and it would’ve saved them all this trouble. Thomas understands why she did it, to some extent, but still. A warning would’ve been nice.

He thinks about this over and over again until he starts shaking from being so upset and confused. He gets out of his hammock and goes to get some air for the third night in a row.

It works―the sound of the ocean waves and the humid air subdues most of the chaos in his mind―but he still can’t stop thinking about how they have _no idea_ how they’re going to rescue Minho. They need to do it soon, every day is another day of possible torture and suffering for him.

Thomas goes back in again eventually to try to get some sleep, but when he goes into the room that he, Newt and Frypan share, one of his friends is sitting up in his hammock, wide awake.

“Tommy? What are you doing up?” Newt asks, and he looks, well. He looks _cute,_ for a lack of a better word, with his sleepy frown and disheveled hair.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Thomas whispers, making his way back to his bed and barely avoids tripping over a duffel bag on the floor. He can hear Newt snicker at this, and that makes him blush a little, for some reason.

“You’ve been wakin’ me up every night this week,” Newt mutters, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, and _oh._  Thomas didn’t know that, he never meant to disturb his friend. “What’s going on?”

“Sorry. I just... can’t sleep. I keep thinking about everything that’s happened,” he admits, keeping quiet so that he doesn’t wake Fry up too.

“Yeah, me too. But we’ll figure this out somehow, I know we will,” Newt murmurs softly, and they keep steady eye contact from across the tiny room. Thomas discovers that he really likes the sound of that, of _we will_. We _._ So he mumbles a soft _yeah_ and his thoughts go to _her_ again, for some reason. “I just don’t understand how Teresa could do that to us, you know?” he whispers, mostly to himself this time. Something different flickers in Newt’s eyes when he mentions her. Is that resentment? Disgust?

“Me neither,” the blond mutters and turns around in his bed so that they’re not facing each other anymore. “But don’t worry about her now. Get some sleep instead―you need it.”

He’s right, as always. Thomas hasn’t gotten a proper good night’s sleep in _weeks_.

“Yeah, I’ll try,” he answers. “Goodnight, Newt.”

“‘Night, Tommy.”

The funny thing is that he’s actually starting to doze off the moment his head hits the pillow. The fact that talking to Newt calms Thomas down in ways others aren’t able to confuses him tremendously.

In his drowsy state, he starts thinking of more ways Newt could potentially make him feel better. He imagines how it would feel like if they shared a bed, if they fell asleep and woke up together. Would that make him sleep better? Probably.

And what would happen if Thomas said goodnight to him with a kiss? What would that be like? He guesses that it would feel nice, probably very soft and gentle and—

 _Jesus_ , he’s so exhausted and touch-starved that he’s thinking about kissing his best friend. It’s pathetic, and Thomas should definitely stop, he knows this.

But he still falls asleep thinking about tender touches and soft, blond hair.

 

Thomas is woken up after what feels like three seconds by a strange, unidentified noise coming from somewhere in the room. He’s on his feet before he has a chance to even react, and he gets dizzy so fast that he almost falls back onto the bed. He flicks on a light and tries to pinpoint what the noise is and where it’s coming from. At first it was just a crackling sound, but now it sounds a lot more like static.

His friends are at his side in a second, like they are expecting to fight for their lives. It’s a natural instinct for them all at this point―the fear is always present in the back of their minds, and it’s understandable considering the world they’re living in.

“What _is_ that?” Thomas asks, and Frypan steps towards one of the windowsills with another duffel bag laying on top of it. He’s right, the sound seems to be coming from inside it.

Fry opens it and rummages through some clothing and equipment until he pulls out a _radio_. Thomas listens closely, and he thinks can hear indistinct words through the static now. He picks up some of them, but most of it is unintelligible.

“ _―i_ _s search patrol eight... Currently searching sector... Uninhabited..._ ”

All three of them look up from the radio in Fry’s hands at the same time when they realize exactly what they’re hearing. It has to be coming from a Berg, it has to. What else could it be?

They stare at each other for a second. “Bloody hell,” Newt says, and yeah, that pretty much sums it all up.

 They sprint to the side of the camp, waking Brenda and Jorge up. Instantly, it’s like the fire inside Jorge has been reignited; he straight up _cackles_ and takes the radio from them, plugging it into a speaker so that they can hear it more clearly.

Most of it is still fuzzy, but he manages to catch the most important words. “― _heading back... Base... Nothing found...”_

Jorge laughs like a crazy person and gives Thomas a high-five. “We’ve got em’.”

The static dissolves soon after that, and the radio goes completely silent. Jorge explains that it’s because the Berg is out of their range now, but when the ship was closer to the camp their radio had picked up its transmission. And if they come close again, it’s most likely that the same thing will happen.

They finally have something useful. Thomas looks at Newt from across the room and they lock eyes. The blond holds Thomas’ gaze and looks at him like he’s proud for some reason, like _he_ did something. It’s absurd since Thomas didn’t actually do anything, but he still feels a blush developing on his cheeks and he has no idea why. So he just looks down at the floor instead, smiling like an idiot, and it’s not just because of the radio.

 

They spend the next couple of days making a light switch in the main room, connecting all the electricity to that one switch. This had been Jorge’s idea, of course. He’d explained to everyone that if the Bergs come closer, they would be able to see the lights from their camp and they would be caught.

Thomas guards the radio with his life, carrying it everywhere he goes at every moment in case it picks up a new transmission. It hasn’t happened yet, but he’s convinced that it’s going to. He could barely fall asleep at night before, so he’s definitely not able to now.

 

_Day 88_

The three of them are on the beach, watching some of the guys working on the boat. Frypan is cooking breakfast nearby, handing out plates of food to every single person here. It’s a very tough job, Thomas knows that because he tried to help him once, but he accidentally set something on fire and Fry had yelled and pushed him out of the kitchen where Newt was standing, watching them and laughing at Thomas. It was weeks ago, but he remembers _exactly_ what he’d looked like when he smiled like that. Thomas wants to hold onto that memory for the rest of his life and remember it as vividly as he does now. He’d looked so _beautiful_. He hates himself for using that word, even in his mind, but there isn’t a better way to describe Newt. Thomas wants to make him smile like that every single day—so he promises to try to do exactly that.

His thoughts are suddenly interrupted by the same boy who he’s currently daydreaming about. “I wonder what it’s like,” Newt says wistfully, still observing the ship in front of them.

“What?”

“Paradise. The Safe Haven, whatever.”

Thomas imagines that it’s exactly like what it sounds like, but then again, he should know by now not to expect anything or get his hopes up.

“I don’t know, I guess we’ll see,” he says, and he just can’t wait to go there with his friends and find out. Even if it’s not as good or safe as it sounds, he’ll be happy as long as Newt is with him.

“Yeah, if I make it there,” he murmurs so quietly that Thomas almost didn’t catch what he said. But then he takes in and processes the words, and he turns ice cold.

“What do you mean?” Thomas asks, turning away from the ocean so that they’re facing each other. “Why wouldn’t you?”

Newt shrugs like he doesn’t care, like what he just said didn’t make Thomas feel like the world is ending all over again. He can’t imagine a future without Newt, doesn’t he know that?

Thomas gets the sudden urge to reach out and touch him again, and he still doesn’t know where it came from. They are sitting close to each other already, but somehow it’s just not enough anymore. He wants, he _needs_ to be there for Newt, comfort him and hold him and tell him things are okay, even if they aren’t. Newt has comforted Thomas so many times now, so it’s time for him to return the favor. He realizes that it’s not just because he’s touch starved—it’s because he feels so much for this boy, so many things all at once. Love, desire, admiration, want. But mostly just love; love so strong and intense that he’s suddenly very overwhelmed and _scared_. It’s terrifying, loving someone in this relentless and unforgiving world. No one knows what will happen next, and every person he feels some sort of care towards is a weakness for him, a pressure point. Thomas has learned this the hard way, and he really shouldn’t let this happen—let his feelings for Newt grow, because he knows that it’ll weaken them both. But he still can’t stop himself from reaching out and taking Newt’s hand in his own—the longing is way too strong.

“We’re all gonna make it there, okay? You, me, Fry, _Minho._ I’m gonna make sure of it.”

Newt smiles weakly, like he doesn’t quite believe him, but he intertwines their fingers nonetheless. Holding hands with him grounds Thomas and it feels better than he would ever admit.

“If you say so.”

“Yeah, I say so,” Thomas replies and smiles at him in an attempt to lighten up the mood.

“I obviously know what I’m doing.” He adds sarcastically in hopes that he’ll get to hear Newt’s wonderful laugh again. He scoffs, and it’s almost a laugh. Almost. Thomas considers it a victory anyway.

They sit there in the sunlight for a while, watching the ocean and wondering what’s beyond it.

 

_Day 129_

“Nothing on the radio?”

Thomas is sitting on a bench on the dock when Newt comes up to him. It’s late, the sun has just gone down and the moon is rising on the other side of the sky. The radio is placed beside him, as it always is.

“No,” Thomas answers and sighs because it’s mostly just been unintelligible chatter about search patrols and what not. Nothing of importance, nothing they can use against WCKD. It’s getting frustrating because the days are just passing by where nothing ever happens, they’re just sitting around the camp. He’s restless and he misses his friends. They have to do something soon. He can see the restlessness in the others too—in Harriet and Newt and everyone who lost someone that day. What horrible, torturous things are WCKD putting them through right now, while Thomas is sitting on a dock by the ocean looking at the stars?

The lack of Bergs lately worries him. “But they have to come back at some point, right?” he asks Newt this because he’s pretty desperate for reassurance at this point. He’s tapping his foot on the concrete platform, and Newt seems to notice how uneasy he is, because he lays a hand on Thomas’ thigh, putting a stop to the fidgety movements.

“Yes, Tommy, they will. But in the meantime, let’s go inside and get some shut-eye, yeah?” he suggests and stands up again, removing his hand from Thomas’ leg. He misses Newt’s warm touch instantly.

That’s probably a good idea, but he doesn’t really want to leave the radio in case something happens. Still, Thomas follows him inside.

 

Thomas doesn’t want to be alone.

That’s his excuse when he suddenly hears the sound of his own voice, asking Newt to stay with him.

The blond doesn’t seem fazed or taken aback by Thomas’ question, which he considers a win. Newt is smiling, and he seems a little surprised, sure, but there’s nothing rejective about his expression or body language.

“Sure,” he murmurs, and if Thomas knew that he was going to say that then he would’ve asked him this a long time ago.

Newt gets in the hammock and lays down beside him—it’s nice. It’s more than nice, Thomas feels more comfortable and _safe_ than ever before. Newt is a little taller than him, so Thomas could easily just nuzzle his face into the crook of his neck if he was brave enough to go through with it, which he isn’t. But he can’t help but think about what it would be like if he leaned in a little closer and kissed Newt, what would he do if Thomas did that? Would he push him away or kiss him back? Maybe he would roll on top of Thomas, kiss him everywhere—his mouth, cheeks, maybe he would trail soft kisses down his neck. He tries to get rid of the thoughts before they go even further, but it’s so difficult.

Newt shifts a little beside him, and he’s brought back to reality—the reality where he doesn’t want Thomas the way he wants Newt. So he picks up the radio from the floor and fiddles with it for a while, trying desperately to block out _those_ thoughts.

Newt groans and makes a vague gesture towards the radio. “Put that thing away for once,” he says, sounding sluggish and it’s so incredibly adorable that it’s not fair.“Sleep.”

Thomas huffs but does as he says because it’s never been easy for him to deny Newt, but mostly because he’s actually pretty exhausted from staying up late every night, listening for Bergs on the radio. It’s pathetic and borderline desperate behavior, Thomas knows that, but he also has no idea what else to do. He needs to hold onto something, and the radio is probably their only hope.

Thomas is comforted by the boy next to him and the warmth of their shared bed, and he feels himself dozing off after a while.

He’s half asleep by now, and he doesn’t mean to snuggle closer to Newt, it just happens. He rests his head against the other boy’s shoulder—he’s never felt this content before. Just this once, Thomas lets himself relax completely and not think about everything that’s going wrong in the world. Newt doesn’t seem to mind, but it’s hard to tell since Thomas is dozing off. He’ll blame this situation on the sluggish state he’s currently in if Newt asks about it later. For now, though, he keeps focusing on how warm and protected Newt makes him feel. Thomas can’t remember if he has been drunk before, but he imagines that this is how it would feel like. It’s intoxicating, being this close to Newt, his whole body is buzzing pleasantly. Suddenly, he feels a hand carding through his hair, and he doesn’t know if he’s awake or dreaming anymore. Asleep or not, it feels _awesome_.

When he wakes up Newt is probably going to be gone already, though. He wouldn’t be surprised by this, but it would been nice if they woke up together, maybe even more tangled up in each other than they were the night before. It’s just wishful thinking, though—Thomas knows it would probably never happen. Even if it did, they have better and more important things to do. Love isn’t a priority in this kind of world, it’s only a dangerous setback.

 _But people love,_ a mysterious voice protests in his head. He has no idea where it came from, but it sounds so familiar that it’s bizarre. _Best of times, worst of times. People love._

Thomas wants to hold on to this moment a little longer, but he can feel himself slipping towards unconsciousness, and the last thing he does before falling asleep is realize how far gone he actually is. How _in love_ he is. He can’t bring himself to be scared anymore, though. He embraces it instead. Love is the only good thing left in the world, after all.

 

_“Searching sector B now.”_

Thomas is not startled by the radio this time, he’s startled by the undeniable sound of a Berg in the distance. This is the first time he can actually hear it because it’s so close, and he panics just a little bit.

He sits up and gets out of bed so quickly that he gets dizzy, but can’t bring himself to care right now. Newt and Frypan are already up, and they’re looking at him like they’ve just seen a ghost.

Thomas grabs the radio and they sprint outside to the beach, where everybody else is gathering. Their whole group is looking skyward and he follows their lead. He can’t actually see the ship, but he can see the sky, and it’s lit up even though it’s midnight—presumably by the ship’s searchlights. Even if they have that lightswitch now, Thomas can’t help but worry about them finding the camp.

 _“No, nothing here, commander,_ ” says a voice on the radio, and it sounds so clear now. It’s obvious that they’re close.

The man speaks again. _“Yes, sir.”_ Thomas can’t hear what the commander says on the other side of the line, but they must be aggressive, because the pilot suddenly gets very defensive. “ _Yes, we will secure the railways at the next transit.”_

Thomas almost drops the device and looks to his friends for confirmation that he just heard that correctly. It seems that he did—they’re looking at him with disbelieving looks on their faces.

Then Fry starts laughing, and Thomas can’t help but join in, because this must be it, their chance. Why would the tracks need guarding all of a sudden? It’s never been that way before, Thomas and Newt know that better than anyone else. They have to be moving something very important next week. Maybe _someone_.

They might have WCKD cornered now, for real. But even if the theory is wrong, they still have to take the chance.

Newt is smiling now too, looking at his two best friends with a fond expression on his face. Happiness is a good look on him—he’s beautiful, and in this moment Thomas feels good about their situation for the first time ever. They finally have a chance against WCKD.

The whole camp turns to look at Newt and Thomas. “When _is_ the next transit, exactly?” Vince asks.

“Sunday, ten thirty.” Newt answers, and Thomas realizes that that’s just five days away. They have a lot to do before then.

 

 


	2. two;

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The blond turns around and glares at Thomas like the answer is obvious. It’s not, at least not to him. Nothing ever is, apparently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to lena aka tumblr user mikewheellrs for making a moodboard for this fic and inspiring me to continue writing!!! <33 i hope this isn't too terrible

“But first, let’s celebrate!” Fry says, and Thomas insists on doing that at first—they have no idea what’s going to be on that train, after all. They might be disappointed next week, but he tells him to live in the moment and just go with it this time. He gives in since this is the closest they’ve ever been to a real, solid plan, and he feels good about it.

It’s barely even midnight yet, so some of them gather together at the big dinner table in the biggest room on the boat to discuss what they’re going to do on Sunday. Frypan whips out a bottle of an amber colored liquid that smells vaguely like fuel and passes it around the group.

Thomas takes one sip but almost spits it out again. He decides that that stuff isn’t for him, it’s not happening. The others are drinking it like it’s no big deal to them, though; Brenda, Jorge, Harriet, Vince, Fry, Newt. He almost laughs at the ridiculousness of the situation.

“Okay, so let’s assume that they are going to be on that train,” Brenda says, putting her glass down on the table after chugging it all. “What should we do?”

“Go with our original plan,” Thomas answers. “Hijack it.”

“There’s no way to get into the front carriage, hermano.”

“Plus, how do we know which one they’ll be in?”

“And they’ll definitely call for backup, we heard that loud and clear. What can we do against a Berg?”

Thomas sighs and pours himself a drink despite the promise he made himself earlier. He knows that his friends want to rescue Minho and the others as much as he does and that these are reasonable questions they’re asking—but it’s just too much for him to handle at once.

 

They keep the discussion going for little while, but it’s late and they are exhausted. The only thing they all can agree on is that they should take two cars with two teams, one to distract, one to attack. But they haven’t really figured out how to do that yet.

They agree to just take the night off—relax and enjoy life as much as they can before they need to start stressing about the plan. There’s no certainty that they’ll come back from this at all. They all know that, and it’s almost like there’s an unspoken agreement about this whole situation—that they should just make the most of the time they have left here before they have to leave their own little bubble of safety they’ve been living in for several months now.

The atmosphere is stiff after their serious conversation until Fry cracks a stupid joke, and then all the tension is gone instantly.

The two adults leave after a while and they take the radio with them. Thomas tries to protest first, but Newt tells him that he needs a break from having it by his side all the time. He agrees after a while—they both know that Jorge will tell them if he hears anything else.

 

The alcohol is making Thomas feel a little fuzzy around the edges even though he only had one drink. It’s surprisingly pleasant—the room spins a little when he makes sudden movements, but it doesn’t make him feel nauseous at all—just _free,_ in a strange way. The blurriness makes him feel at ease, and when he looks at his friends he can almost pretend that nothing is wrong. He can still speak and act normally, the only difference is that he feels a little lighter, a little happier. It’s good.

The feeling intensifies when he blurts out something dazed and Newt laughs like that was the funniest thing he’s ever heard. Or maybe the stupidest. But Thomas is glad that he said it, because Newt is straight up beaming at him now, and he looks gorgeous like this; when he lets go and allows himself to have fun. Thomas knows how hard that can be, it makes him feel guilty sometimes, but they are only human after all. They need to at least _try_ to be happy, despite the situation they’re in.

Thomas can’t remember when they ended up so close to each other. It’s so distracting that it throws him off for a second, and the fact that Newt still grinning at him isn’t helping. The messy string of lights on the wall casts a warm, low light on the boy in front of him and it makes look even more ethereal. It reminds Thomas of their first night together in the Glade. It’s bittersweet to look back on that.

He wants to reach out and hold Newt and kiss him so bad that it’s overwhelming. The action has always felt so inconceivable, but now he’s actually considering it—maybe he could blame it on the disoriented state he’s currently in if Newt asks why he did it later. But Thomas would never take advantage of him like that since he knows that it’s not what Newt wants. He doesn’t want _him_. It hurts, but Thomas is okay with it. He’s happy to just keep loving Newt and being his friend. It’s more than enough for him.

“Still with me, Tommy?” Newt asks, and Thomas realizes that he’s been staring for a long time. Probably way too long.

He says “Always,” because it’s the first thing that comes to mind. He knows that that’s probably not what Newt meant, but Thomas will always be with him, no matter what happens. He needs him to know that.

Newt laughs again, but it’s not mean or mocking in any way. It’s open and honest and _fond_.

Thomas is vaguely aware of Brenda and Frypan talking to each other in the background, but he can only focus on the boy in front of him. There are so many things he wants to say to Newt. Things like _you’re beautiful_ and _you make my life so much better._ And Thomas would, if he was someone else—someone who lived a normal life, someone who was braver. Would they even be friends if they lived in a world without solar flares and infection? Or are they just friends now because they were forced to be, because they were put in the same experiment? Thomas likes the idea of them being together in another universe, a universe where the world isn’t ending. Maybe he tells him there.

 

He never wants to let go of this moment—they’re both smiling and everything feels fuzzy and _good_ —but it has to come to an end eventually. The alcohol is starting to wear off, and the drowsy feeling he likes so much is slowly fading. The walls of reality are suddenly closing in on him.

Five days. Just five days until they have to leave the comfortable safety of the camp and go out there and risk their lives again. It’s a weird feeling—Thomas wants to go and get his revenge on WCKD and get his friends back, he wants it so bad it makes him feel restless. But he also sort of wants to stay here at the camp forever. It’s a constant shift between those two moods, and it’s messing with his head to say the least.

He knows that he won’t be completely content here without Minho, though. Maybe not even without Teresa, despite what she did to them.

 _God_ , Teresa. Thomas has been trying not to think about her, but it’s really difficult for him not to. She might even be on the train next week, who knows? What should he do then?

“Why would that change anything?” Newt says suddenly, and Thomas frowns because he can’t remember what they were talking about. “What?”

“Why would it make a difference if Teresa’s there?”

 _Oh._ Maybe he’s not as sober as he first thought, because he apparently said that last part out loud on accident.

He considers Newt’s question. Thomas still wants to be Teresa’s friend, even though she betrayed him and his friends. They have known each other since they were toddlers, and even though he doesn’t have his memories left from that time, he still knows that somehow. Thomas feels it when he looks at her—the strong, undeniable bond they have.

Maybe he could convince her to come with them this time and just accept the fact that there is no cure, and there probably will never be one. He could tell Teresa that there’s nothing more she can do to save the world, because he truly believes that there isn’t. But _she_ wouldn’t believe him, she’s the most stubborn person he knows. He could still try, though.

“I don’t know, maybe we could take her with us,” The words are out of his mouth before he thinks them through, and judging by the upset look on his friend’s face, maybe he shouldn’t have said that. Newt looks offended, and it’s completely understandable—she betrayed him too, after all.

Newt frowns like he can’t believe what he just heard. “Have you gone mad?” he asks but gives Thomas no room to answer. “Are we talking about the same girl here?”

He backs away and puts a lot more distance between them. Thomas wants to go back to a few minutes ago when they were standing so close, laughing with each other at the stupidest things. Why did he have to bring this up and make things serious again?

“Yeah, why not give her a second chance? It’s been a while, maybe she regrets it.” Thomas suggests, even though he highly doubts that she does. He just needs to know for sure.

Newt gets up from his chair, glaring at him from across the room. Thomas gets that he doesn’t like Teresa because of what she did, but Newt has always been so kind to _everyone_. So why can’t he just try to give her a second chance if she agrees to it? This is not like him.

“Okay, you do whatever you want. I’m going to bed.” Newt announces, and he sounds so worn out and _sad_ that Thomas’ heart breaks. Then he actually walks out the door, leaving Thomas speechless and more confused than ever.

Brenda crosses her arms and gives him a look that basically says _you know what to do_. Thomas doesn’t have a clue.

 

Thomas runs after Newt and stops him on the beach right outside the building. The warm night is calm and silent unlike the conflict between the two boys—they’ve never really fought before, not like this. It makes Thomas feel so incredibly sad and maybe even a little bit heartsick. He needs to fix this, take back whatever made Newt upset.

So Thomas jogs up to Newt silently, not saying a word because he’s afraid that he’s going to snap at him again. He just can’t understand why this topic is so sensitive for Newt to talk about. The blond looks so upset and _pained_ , and Thomas never wants to see him like this again. He’d do anything to remove whatever makes him hurt. Anything.

“What’s going on?” he asks, barely resisting the temptation to reach out and touch Newt, comfort him. He doesn’t know if he’s allowed to, though.

The blond turns around and glares at Thomas like the answer is obvious. It’s not, at least not to him. Nothing ever is, apparently.

He doesn’t answer his question.“She’ll betray us again, don’t you get it?”

Thomas retorts with “We don’t know that,” because, yeah, maybe he’s in denial.

Newt looks seriously upset now, and Thomas wants desperately to understand why he cares so much about this. It was just a mere proposition to bring Teresa with them. She’s probably not even going to be on the train. But what if?

“Fine. Go on, run back to your bloody girlfriend, then. I’m sure you’ll accept her no matter what she does.” Newt mutters and takes a few steps away from Thomas, but he catches up quickly.

“I—“ _Girlfriend?_ “No, I wouldn’t!” Thomas exclaims, because it’s just so absurd for Newt to think of him and Teresa that way. Newt won’t make eye contact with him, so he puts a hand on his shoulder and turns him around. He’s looking at him like he doesn’t believe a single thing he’s saying now, so Thomas tries to calm down and look sincere about it. He only now notices how close they are to each other. This isn’t a new thing for them, but it’s never felt like this before; the undeniable tension between them is killing him.

“It’s not like that, Newt.” Thomas murmurs and tries desperately to not lower his gaze to look at his lips. They are so close to his own, he could just lean in and kiss him, it would be so easy. _No, now’s not the time._

Newt doesn’t seem convinced at all, because he’s still studying him like nothing coming out of his mouth is true. It stings a little bit, if Thomas is being honest with himself. Newt has always trusted him no matter what—but apparently he doesn’t anymore, and it _hurts._

He sighs and tries again. “Look, I promise you, it’s _not_. Why would you think that? You know I’d tell you if—“

Thomas is suddenly interrupted by the boy in front of him cupping his cheek, and his frustration gets replaced by soft confusion. But before he has a chance to really react, Newt makes a quiet but unmistakable sound that can only be described as a soft sigh and presses his lips to Thomas’ own.

 


	3. three;

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time passes fast when you have fun, is what Thomas learns those last days at camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys i am so sorry that it took me so long to update. also this sucks im sorry, but i wanted to post it anyway because its the best i can do OKAY . i think ive lost my skills  
> thanks for all the amazing comments tho!! i dont deserve any of them <33

They both practically melt into it. Thomas responds instinctively by wrapping his arms around the other boy’s neck and kissing him back. It’s emotional, intense, and probably a little too rough, but it’s still everything Thomas has ever wanted and more. Newt takes Thomas’ face with both of his hands and holds him in place as he kisses him deeper, and he can’t help but let out a moan against the other’s mouth. Thomas blushes when he realizes that _he_ just made that sound, and he can _feel_ Newt’s satisfied smile. It all becomes softer and more gentle after that; Newt kisses him softly and so excruciatingly slow that Thomas is starting to think that he is just teasing him at this point. He’s not complaining, though. Thomas never thought he would get to have this, so he responds just as enthusiastically as the other boy and tries desperately to remain in this moment forever, because he knows the peace won’t last long.

They pull apart when the need to breathe becomes too strong to ignore, and they just look at each other for a while. Thomas can’t believe how lucky he is—because Newt wants him, too. If he wasn’t convinced by the kiss, he definitely knows now, because he can see it in the way Newt is looking at him right now. There is so much love and want in his eyes that Thomas almost feels unworthy of it. He can feel himself getting flustered again, he just can't help it. It’s embarrassing, but the beautiful smile Newt gives him makes it worth it.

“Where did that come from?” Thomas asks, suddenly desperate to clear the air and get some answers. He did _not_ see that coming.

Newt huffs out a laugh and says “I’ve wanted to do that for a while now, Tommy,” to Thomas’ surprise. “How could you not have known?”

“I don’t know,” Thomas murmurs, realizing how close they still are to each other. “You’re pretty distracting.” That sounded less flirty in his head.

“Shut up,” Newt says, but not in a mean way—it sounds more like an endearment to Thomas’ ears.

 

Thomas wakes up the next morning feeling content and _complete_. Maybe a little bit hungover, too, but he looks over at Newt and all the unpleasant feelings he might've had just vanish instantly. He already knew they were friends before the Maze, he could feel it in his bones, but now he knows that they were more than that. And when they kissed, it all just clicked—the big puzzle piece he felt was missing before is no longer a mystery to him. He found it. It’s the beautiful boy currently lying next to him.

“Good morning,” Newt says when he notices that Thomas is already awake and admiring him without any shame whatsoever, because he can do this now, he’s finally allowed to.

“Morning,” Thomas replies, and snuggles closer to him under the covers, and Newt _lets him_ . So last night actually happened, then. It wasn’t just a drunken fantasy—Newt actually _kissed_ him. Thomas can’t wrap his head around it.

Newt chuckles at the action and places a soft kiss on the corner of Thomas’ mouth. “Don’t tell me you’ve got a bloody crush on me, Tommy.”

“I might have,” Thomas says, wrapping his arms around the other boy’s waist. He wants to tell Newt that it’s so much more than a little crush, but he’s scared of his reaction, for some weird reason. They’ve got time, though. He’ll tell him later.

 

They work all day, and it’s exhausting, but by the end of the evening they have a solid plan that might actually work. Jorge told them about the special tracker WICKED have installed in every Berg, but also suggested a good method to remove them—so there were no remaining obstacles by the end of the night. _This could work._

Now they just have to wait for Sunday.

 

Time passes fast when you have fun, is what Thomas learns those last days at camp.

He feels incredibly guilty for having such a wonderful time when the other Gladers are being held hostage by WICKED—but he can’t help it. They both wanted to make the most of the little time they had left at camp, and they really have. It’s Sunday, and all Thomas have been focused on the last few days is _Newt Newt Newt._ They’ve spent the days making out, talking about everything and nothing, and making out some more. They haven’t exactly been subtle, so Thomas is pretty sure everybody here knows about them by now. He feels guilty even thinking about it, but he kind of wants to stay here with Newt forever. Also kind of not, because he wants Minho back. He’s going to miss this so much, though.

Thomas has thought about the fact that if he were a little more brave from the start and told Newt how he felt earlier, they would’ve had a lot more time together. But every time he has brought this up, Newt has silenced him with a kiss and a “It doesn’t matter now, okay? We can’t go back in time.” He’s right, of course. And when they have completed this mission, they can finally go to the Safe Haven. They will have all the time in the world over there.

 

“So, today’s the day, huh?” Newt says on Monday when they have gone over the plan one more time and double checked that they have all the gear. There is a strong hint of sadness in his voice, and Thomas definitely understands why. Because yes, today is the day—it’s 9 AM on day 134. Today they’re rescuing Minho and getting revenge on WICKED for messing with them. Thomas is ready—in fact, he’s never been more ready for anything in his life, but he’s still very nervous. It’s a risky plan, there’s no guarantee that all of them will make it back from this, he knows that. That’s why he doesn’t want anything to be left unsaid.

“I love you,” he blurts out, and Newt probably expected another answer to his question, because he looks pretty dumbfounded by the three words.

But then he smiles like never before, and Thomas has never seen something so beautiful in his life. Newt steps closer to Thomas and takes both of his hands in his own. “I love you, too.”

Thomas feels the sincerity in Newt’s words all the way down to his core, and is suddenly overwhelmed by all the feelings he feels all at once.

“Good luck out there,” Newt says, and Thomas looks down at the clock on his wrist. It’s time for Newt to leave the safety of their tent and go out to face the dangerous reality once again. He needs to go earlier than Thomas to take his position behind the bushes before the others get there by car.

“You too. See you soon, yeah?”

Newt smiles and it lightens the bitter mood immediately. “Oh, absolutely. You’re not getting rid of me anytime soon, Tommy.” He places one last kiss on his lips, and pulls away, leaving the tent and the camp for good.

They have a greater adventure ahead of them than neither of them realize, though.

  
  


“Brenda, we’re coming up behind, keep em’ busy!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cue the movie

**Author's Note:**

> come yell at me on twitter


End file.
